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Brought up Apr 2, 2010

Is he cheating

If you are asking yourself this question chances are there is a big problem with the relationship. Something that goes far deeper then the potential of his unfaithfulness. Perhaps you have had a lot of fights recently, perhaps he suddenly started working late. Maybe you just realized that you can't trust him.

The core of the issue is that you don't trust him. If that is the case then it doesn't even matter if he cheated or not. For instance, lets say you simply asked him if he was cheating, and he said no would that be enough? Chances are it wouldn't. If you don't trust him to be faithful, how can you trust him to be honest when confronted? The relationship is for the most part already over.

As far as I can tell there are three potential scenarios here.

1.You ran into some bad luck and just ended up with a guy who stinks.

2.You are in a cycle where for some reason you keep picking men that cheat.

3.You might simply have trust issues

For the first situation, the best thing to do is stop the relationship in its tracts and figure out which scenario you are stuck in. If he is cheating you will know for sure right away, either he will confess what he did and beg for forgiveness or next week he will be officially dating the other woman. Either way you know for sure. Don't be tempted by him if he decides to beg for forgiveness. Take the time to get over your hurt, he can wait and you deserve he time. Later, if he still insists on getting back into your life then start with counseling.

If you realize that you seem to be following a pattern where nearly every man you choose is cheating on you, it may be time to get some help. It is possible that you have personality traits that make you more vulnerable to abusers. Remember being cheated on, particularly in a long term relationship, is a emotional abuse.

The other possibility is that you are wrong and you just broke up with a decent guy. If that is the case I strongly suggest that you don't go running back for forgiveness just yet. Instead think really hard about what set you off. Where do your suspicions come from? Do they come from a past relationship? Is it possible that you just need someone who can give you more attention? Do you have unresolved problems with your self esteem? This would be the perfect time to address these questions in yourself so that your next relationship doesn't end due to your insecurities.


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